Why I Became a Therapist
“Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.”
― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
In an earlier blog post I wrote about how I became a therapist, and here I am going to share a bit about why I became a therapist.
I don’t remember much from my childhood but I do have a distinct memory of being told my dad had been arrested and incarcerated. I was 6 years old. In the years that followed, my dad was in and out of prison, living on the streets and suffering from his addiction to meth. These tumultuous years left me grappling with unanswered questions and unspoken pain. Shortly after my 11th birthday, my mom decided she had given my dad enough chances to get it together and that it was time for a fresh start in a new city, a new state, and so we packed up our home and moved. The upheaval triggered intense emotions in me, leading to frequent tantrums as I grappled with the loss of my father and the drastic changes to our family dynamic.
Middle school introduced another layer of adversity. I was diagnosed with a severe case of scoliosis and learned I would need a major operation to fuse my spine to prevent it from compromising my heart and lungs. A week after my 14th birthday, I went into the operating room for nearly 24 hours in which my entire back was cut open, a rib was removed and the majority of my spine was fused. While my peers were experiencing typical adolescent milestones, I found myself navigating excruciating physical and emotional pain, questioning why I was enduring such hardship.
I spent my adolescents in anguish wondering about my dad. Where was he? Was he okay? How could he choose meth over his own children? Most of these thoughts and questions I kept to myself or wrote about in my journal because I didn’t know who I could talk to. I tried a handful of times to talk to my high school counselor, but it always felt like he was in a rush to get me out of his office.
During my sophomore year of high school, I was nominated into a program called “Natural Helpers”; a program designed to teach natural leaders how to support their peers. I attended a transformative retreat with peers and faculty in which I was able to safely share my struggles while also learning basic counseling skills to be able to help other students at my high school. This retreat was heart opening and healing and this shaped the trajectory of what I would choose to do with my life. This program ignited a passion in me to support others and was reinforced by reading Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning," which underscored my belief that my own suffering could serve a greater purpose.
During my college years, I received a distressing call from my mom with regards to my brother’s substance (ab)use. With both my father's struggles and now my brother's issues, I found myself consumed with worry for my loved ones. Once again, I kept these concerns bottled up, uncertain of where to go for support. Overwhelmed by the weight of my emotions led to moments of hysterical inebriation, releasing the sadness and pain, leaving my friends with discomfort and confusion, unsure how to help. Yet, the following day, I would gather myself and continue my studies in human services, driven by a deep-seated desire to prevent others from enduring the loneliness and pain that I experienced.
“Unless we want to keep spinning our wheels, which many of us do because it’s easier than working towards change, we must work on ourselves. How can we respond differently? Can we view it through a different lens or reframe it? Can we find any opportunity within the challenge?” -Viktor Frankl
It wasn’t until after college that I finally sought therapy of my own to process my life experiences and to find clarity and I have utilized therapy in some capacity ever since. I utilized therapy throughout graduate school, in my early career as a therapist, during the COVID-19 pandemic, and again to navigate major life changes post-pandemic. Therapy transformed my life in many ways. The therapeutic space allowed me to feel heard, validated, and to grow, recognize my own strength, and find hope. Therapy has allowed me to be a better therapist.
I chose the path of therapy because I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone going through what I went through alone. Some may call this Trauma Mastery, a concept I encountered early in my career. While suffering is a part of the human experience, having someone to confide in and navigate it with can be transformative. I am deeply passionate about creating a safe haven for individuals to express their pain, fears, and worries, offering them solace, relief, and renewed hope for the future.
The experiences I have had in my life, both challenging and beautiful, have given me compassion, empathy and a fierce dedication to supporting others through their own difficult moments.
“In times of crisis, people reach for meaning. Meaning is strength. Our survival may depend on our seeking and finding it.” -Viktor Frankl